(no subject)

[xp_cannonball]

 if you saw me running down the hallway with a plate of ham
I will NOT be taking questions at this time 

Comments

[xp_wildchild]

Sam. Ham.

sorry that's all I got, I had 21 5th graders for 5 hours today b/c their 'real' teacher has mumps.

[xp_wildchild]

(IT IS 2023 WHO GETS MUMPS)

[xp_hawkeye]

The kids of antivaxxers, unfortunately.

[xp_catseye]

Wait, I have one:


That Sam-With-Ham, That Sam-With-Ham, I acknowledge that Sam-With-Ham.

I would like his plated ham.

I would like them, Sam-With-Ham.
I would like your plated ham.

I would consume them here or there.
I would consume them anywhere.
I desire your plated ham.
Nay, I yearn for it, Sam-With-Ham.

[xp_liono]

SHARON! it's not your ham.

[xp_catseye]

All food is my food in potentia, Kitten. You'll never know unless you ask.

[xp_liono]

... or I can go to the kitchen and get food. easy. no dumpster required

[xp_catseye]

I can go to the kitchen and eat from dumpsters, just as I can cook for myself and also receive food from others.

I contain multitudes.

[xp_liono]

no you don't. no layers. not an ogre or an onion.

[xp_catseye]

How dare you. My depths are the most hidden, Orange One.

No beef bacon for you.

[xp_liono]

oooh I'm scared. shaking in my boots even

[xp_darcy]

See. This is exactly why my question was how he managed to have you not filch his ham.

I don't have ham but there is some beef bacon I will share with you if you happen to appear in my suite today. I had the energy to cook it earlier.

[xp_catseye]

I don't know how either. I must be losing my touch. Or in a TikTok hole.

Beef bacon at your suite? Maybe an appearance can be arranged. My children do miss their foster-mother.

I might even ask to take some back for Liam, but only if he behaves.

[xp_darcy]

Liam can also come, but no tussling in my living room unless you are both smaller than an adult Maine Coon.

[xp_catseye]

You're no fun.

[xp_darcy]

Living room isn't big enough for that AND I still have stitches, kit. So no tussling with me at all.

[xp_cypher]

There once was a cat from Manhattan
At a mansion that she hung her hat in
She wanted some ham
But a "no thank you ma'am"
Meant a journal would have to have that in

[xp_catseye]

See, Kyle? Doug gets it.